The Notes Series: On Time and the Importance I Place On It
Unemployment really makes the time fly
Due to my lack of storage on my phone (and my resistance to paying for an upgrade to expand said storage), I’ll be copy/pasting my most profound and most mundane notes app thoughts here, on the blog, for safe keeping. Maybe I’ll add onto those old notes, if I have anything more to say.
[February 18, 2021]
I keep finding myself having to look at my calendar to see when I first started doing this or that, when I applied to this job, or when I first spoke to this person. Because then I get context and can see the bigger picture, and realize how little time has actually gone by.
Even though it feels like a year has passed with every week, that’s not actually the case at all. If someone were to say “Oh, we started talking four weeks ago,” that wouldn’t sound like a lot of time, but to me, four weeks and the things that happen within those four weeks feels so big! Like, a big deal…
I forget everything I do and think and obsess over once a new week starts anyway, so why do I put so much importance on things in the moment? They all pass away so quickly.
I only know how much I’ve done when I look back at records I’ve kept (my job application log, journal entries, tarot reading entries, time stamps on texts and phone calls…). I feel like I don’t do enough or that I owe people so much when really, only a few days have gone by. And it’s okay! Everything is okay! My world isn’t burning down and it won’t tomorrow if I don’t make myself change right this second! It’s okay if I don’t find the perfect manifested dream job right this second!
Oh, my gosh, I live my life so intensely but so subtly at the same time — how is that? Oh…it’s 2:22 right now. Noted.
Just needed to write this down. Don’t think it encapsulates the way my thoughts are running through my head but it’s close enough, and this is for me to read, so I’ll understand what I’m talking about.
I understand.
