My Birth Chart Is Linked to My Changing Attitude About Romance
On the fluidity of personal astrology
The screenshot of my birth chart and I stare each other down once again, both waiting for the shock of another astrology related epiphany to die down.
“Ah,” I say. “So it was you this whole time.”
Relating to a new part of your birth chart comes along with discovering a new side to yourself, and it can be pretty jarring at first. You thought you knew who you were, but your birth chart, laid out for you like an intricate map, is telling you something different. In my case, this had to do with my changed attitude toward love and romance.
Take it back to a few years ago when I was still in college, or even further back to high school, when I was the most hopeless of the hopeless romantics. But in a few years time, I’ve changed now that I’m a little older. That means my feelings towards certain things can change up again later on down the line. And wouldn’t you know, it can be tied back to astrology.
Now, getting acquainted with a new side of your birth chart is like changing cliques in high school. And like the teenage hierarchy, nothing is set in stone, especially when it comes to the stars.
The watery-eyed baby to ice queen transformation
The abrupt shift in my head when it came to love and romance is reminiscent of a Winx Club fairy transformation. I suddenly went from getting all mushy over any possible romantic prospect to scoffing at the idea of a meet-cute ever happening in my near future. The latter definitely had a better outfit, true to the laws of the Winx Club universe. And this isn’t to say that hopeless romantic isn’t still a part of me, it’s just that there’s a more cautious, practical outer layer to protect the soft, bubblegum center.
To get into my astrological placements, I have a Pisces Mars and a Capricorn Venus (these are the main placements you’d look into for matters of the heart and relationships). The younger me identified heavily with my Pisces Mars when it came to romance. I’m a Pisces stellium, so it isn’t hard to lean into that quintessential dreamy, imaginative energy. But I really noticed my shift in moods when I revisited an astrology book for women by the name of Sex Signs, written by Judith Bennett.
Before I continue, I will just say that I don’t necessarily recommend this book but it’s not the worst thing in the world. It’s just incredibly dated. Like, imagine you snuck into your cool astrology auntie’s bedroom and found a bookshelf full of odd gems from the 90s. The biggest issue I have with Sex Signs is that it’s very heterocentric and even has a section for each sign titled “Gay/Bisexual Lifestyle” so…yikes.
But ignoring that for the sake of making my point — the Pisces chapter of the book has a section describing early adulthood for Piscean women, saying things like:
“in her early sexual relationships, Pisces is passive and dependent. Her submission to the male is a tactic she thinks she must use in order to catch and hold him. She quickly pours the contents of her erotic-emotional self into her sexual relationship. This paves a sure road to dependence and trouble” (304).
and:
“Pisces does not wish to compete with her man. What she wants is male approval and protection” (304).
As I was just entering into young adulthood at 18 years-old, these insights didn’t seem off to me at all. I could see myself in Bennett’s description of the young, unevolved Pisces woman. But then a few years later when I started studying more astrology and my personal birth chart, I found that I not only understood my icy and elusive Capricorn Venus, but I now resonated with it. The idea to return to Sex Signs came to me suddenly, and I followed the scent back to its dusty spot on my bookshelf.
My idea to read the Capricorn chapter of the book brought a suprising revelation. I saw myself more clearly represented in the love and sex portion of the Capricorn chapter, and it was clear that my Venus placement had taken a stronger hold on me in just a matter of a few years. I was eagerly highlighting the statements that rang true, making notes in the margins like I was a student again. Sentiments like these (and more) resonated with me:
“When she is in love, the Capricorn Woman seems to be an angel at large, a temptress in bed, a secure empress in company; she may also for a time be a mirror image of her mate” (247).
“She may be a femme fatale with the wisdom of an old lady and the grace and ingenuity of a young colt. She is picky” (253).
“She has a nearly phobic fear of depending on a man” (254).
Despite my “Delayed sexual activity and involvement” (248) (you don’t miss a thing, do ya, Judy?), the things Bennett wrote in this chapter hit home more so than I would’ve ever thought back then, when I wrote off my misunderstood and intimidating Capricorn Venus placement.
Growing into new placements
You know how when you’re younger and you have those big ears or long limbs everyone says you’ll grow into? Well, it’s the same with your birth chart. The entire picture of who you are isn’t immediately apparent until you let time run its course. When you do start to relate to different parts of your birth chart, it can feel foreign and like the complete opposite of who you believe you are. But it’s all you, it always has been.
I’ve seen people say that they don’t relate to their sun sign, but rather their moon sign, which deals with the emotions and psyche. There has also been discourse about which horoscope is more accurate to read, the one for your sun sign or your rising sign (personally, my Scorpio Rising delivers more accurate reports). It’s all very different and very personal for everyone.
Even as you start to relate to different parts of your birth chart at different stages in your life, that doesn’t mean the other placements you used to be so gung-ho for are obsolete. My Pisces Mars is still very much a part of my experience and feelings toward romance, but my Capricorn Venus definitely has more to say about it now. I’ve just evolved, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As you turn over every piece of your own birth chart, gather them, assemble them, and watch the puzzle come together. You have your whole life to meet these new sides of yourself. So, just have fun discovering them all and always remember to look at the bigger picture of who you are.
